THIS REALLY HAPPENED…
I was at the bank to make a hefty deposit. When I walked in, there was a very old white man with a long white beard and a walking stick, and a black woman, who I would assume was a crackhead, standing off to the side. The old man ( did I mention he was wearing a one-piece, denim overall fit? I think he was also dawning a blue mesh cap with the letters V-E-T stitched across the front. ) was yelling at the teller for reasons unknown. He kept calling her a “trick” and in a very drunken manner. Only he wasn’t drunk, he was just oLD n’ kRaZyIE ( I felt threatened at first, but then after another glance I realized that Hank could probably take this old geezer down ). Then this old buzzard takes it a few more notches below the belt and says, (WARNING: EXPLICIT MATERIAL) “suck a f**k’n nut you trick.” Realizing that her and her boyfriend (?) could soon be in handcuffs, the black lady says, “C’mon Dwight, C’mon Dwight,” and asks the manager if they could use the restroom before they left. The old man’s name was Dwight. Although, I never got her name. As she was pulling him [Dwight] to the bathroom he yelled at the female teller again,” you stupid trick. She’s gonna take ur money then run ur credit to tha ground” ( I guess this one was for me and the other customer). The black lady then silences him. “Stop it Dwight. C’mon Dwight.” They were out of sight now and in the restroom (I’m pretty sure they went into the same one). After about a few minutes of silence, and me wondering how I was going to remember all of what was happening, so to share it with the rest of you, he erupts one last time…. “tRIcK!??!$%@#?”
[There was a total of three employees there. The female teller who was getting disrespected. There was a manager, male, and another teller, also male. These two just let this oldhead beat up on their fellow (female) employee. Nobody did anything. The two men just kept their heads down and minded theirs. It was really pathetic. Did I mention that these two assholes are probably in their late 40's or early 50's? Maybe that had everything to do with it. I was thinking about going up to Dwight and saying, "Alright Dwight, that's about enough." I'm sure that would have gone over well. ]
The African-American woman then grabs him (again) in an attempt to get him out of the bank, as he was attempting to get a few more expletives out. Unfortunately he was too old and out-dated to form any interpretable terms or sentences.
During the walk back, I was trying to focus on key words for the story, and at the same time, trying to focus on not getting hit by a car or two.
…On the way to the bank, I passed a man getting out of this lemon, wearing a suit and tie. He was carrying one rose and a box of Little Debbie Nutty Bars.
What were the chances of it getting any weirder than that?
Dass It…
n’ Dass All.
